As a lifelong Atlanta native and sports fan, I look back on the year that was for some professional
franchises that call (or in the case of the Thrashers, once called) the
"Hip-Hop Capitol of the World" their home. In order to relive the
nightmares as quickly as possible, I will be writing in
chronological order from most traumatic to least traumatic.
Atlanta Braves
We begin our walk down Nightmare Lane by flashing back to August
23, 2011. The Atlanta Braves had a 10.5 game lead on the St. Louis Cardinals.
Dan Uggla's 33-game hitting streak had recently been snapped, but the team's
playoff chances were locked in. I couldn't wait to see the Braves back in the
playoffs and rid the taste of Brooks Conrad's 2010 playoff performance out of
my mind. No one could blow a 10.5 game lead in a month, could they?
I WAS WRONG. THESE BRAVES COULD.
Somehow, the Cardinals gained 11.5 games on the Braves in the
season's final month. And excluding a few clutch pinch-hitting strikeouts by
the Conrad, the "Rawdog" had nothing to do with the collapse!!!!
Instead, Jair Jurrjens and Tommy Hanson were sidelined with injuries, the
O'Ventbrel trio imploded due to a lack of rest, the Braves batters decided to
try and hit with toothpicks. The only unsurprising aspect of the collapse was
the horrendous pitching by Derek Lowe. Fans had come to expect box scores like
this September 5 performance against the Phillies: 5 IP, 8 H, 7 R (5 ER), and
4BB.
All hope was lost on the last night of the season, when the
Cardinals defeated the Astros and the Phillies (who had already clinched home
field advantage and rested some starters) defeated the Braves in 13 innings.
Instead of going into more depth as I normally would, I'm going to take a page out of the
2011 Atlanta Braves' season and simply quit on my fans I'm moving on.
Before we all throw up......
Atlanta Falcons
Since this is only a recap of 2011, no part of the Falcons 13-3
regular season run can be included in the 2011 recap. And sadly, the 2010
regular season run was the only positive part of the Dirty Birds' 2010-2011
campaign.
My dad and I headed to the
Georgia Dome for the Divisional round battle between the Falcons and the Green
Bay Packers. Just before kickoff, chaos
ensued as fans waved their “Rise Up” flags and the Samuel L. Jackson (sans
Evander Holyfield, Jimmy Carter, and that random old lady) video came on the
big screens.
However, once the game against
the BQBL Commissioner’s (aka Mr. Tamel) team began, very little went well. Aside from Eric Weems’ kickoff return TD, the
Falcons were outscored 49-14; the defense got torched and Matt Ryan threw so
many interceptions that fans wondered if Brett Favre was somehow disguised as
the Falcons’ young leader. YES, A BRETT FAVRE REFERENCE! IT HAD BEEN TOO LONG
SINCE YOU HAD HEARD HIS NAME, HADN’T IT?
While they had lost to the
eventual Super Bowl champion, the Falcons still proved absolutely nothing. The core of Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, and
Tony Gonzalez have yet to win a playoff game. Maybe Atlanta teams just hate winning championships (see 1990s Atlanta
Braves).
In April, GM Thomas Dimitroff
made a massive trade with the Cleveland Browns that landed Julio Jones, but
sent five picks to the Browns in return. It was a massive gamble that didn’t address the Falcons’ glaring need in
the secondary, and it didn’t pan out quite as fans would have hoped.
Jones suffered through a cornucopia of early season drops, and the Falcons fell to a 10-6 record. Without any signature wins (no, the Lions game is not a signature win), this team has still proven as much improvement as the B1G TEN Conference showed in their bowl season performance.
The Dirty Birds still did enough to surpass the Atlanta Braves' 2011 campaign and finish as the second most traumatizing Atlanta team in 2011.
Stay tuned. Later in the afternoon, the two remaining franchises' 2011 seasons will be posted.
