Celebrations That Need To Crawl In A Hole And Die

Today, there is very little originality in the celebration arena. In 1998, the Falcons flew to the top and were known as the Dirty Birds thanks to running back Jamal Anderson’s touchdown dance. But, the classy, creative celebrations disappeared when Jamal Anderson’s knee exploded in 2001 (http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/news/20000129/jamal-anderson-torn-acl).

In fact, there is so little that dozens of players are doing the exact same celebrations in reaction to their "big plays." I use quotation marks because a big play to some players is a seven yard run, while to others, it is a buzzer-beating three.

Over the past few months, I've had enough of a trio of uninventive celebrations, ranked from least to most annoying.

3. The First Down Signal

You've seen it before. A player gets a big first down, stands up, and begins to jog back to the huddle. All of a sudden, he stops, does a 180, and elaborately performs the first down signal to the roar of the crowd. Wide Receiver Hines Ward loves this routine and even though he went to UGA, I hate it. If you do decide to come back and play in the NFL, please leave the first down routine in your future retirement community.

2. The Spike

Worsened a bit by my hatred for Rob Gronkowski (the most heinous offender in 2011), the spike needs to crawl in a hole and die. I get that the spike releases all the adrenaline racing through your veins after a touchdown play, but barbarically slamming a ball on the soft, tender grass is no way to repay Mother Earth's for her sustenance just lame. Even the fake spike and casual toss to the ref is far more tolerable than the spike (or should we change its name to the Gronk??).

After all, there are far more creative and tolerable ways to celebrate a big play and release all of that pent up adrenaline. I've always wanted a player to grab a long, skinny field mic and snap it over his knee. Heck, he could even take one of those strange semi-sphere mic holders from the sideline crew member http://www.flickr.com/photos/mike_king/4597831983/lightbox/ and drill an opposing player with it. Anything (excluding #1 on this list) would be better than the "Gronk."

1. The Superman

What's the deal with all of these athletes thinking they are Clark Kent? The nickname "Superman" started in the late 1990s/early 2000s with Lakers C Shaquille O'Neal. Then, Magic C Dwight Howard stole the nickname and cape for the 2008 Slam Dunk Contest. And he didn't even dunk!

Now, Panthers QB Cam Newton is known by the same moniker and has taken the act to a new level: "revealing" the Superman logo on his chest. Stop it, Cam. Other players are copying him, and the only enjoyment I have ever had from this whole mess came from Dwyane Wade. After a big play against the Bobcats, Wade (who I dislike) ran over to Newton (who I dislike even more), seated courtside. He gave "Superman" a taste of his own medicine. Well done, Wade, well done.

Have any celebrations that grind your gears? Leave a comment and let your voice be heard.