Before I throw this film to the proverbial dogs, let me preface my review with this: The portrayal of exorcism and the priesthood in The Devil Inside and the theology it presents is flawed to a point where it completely contradicts scripture. For the short answer to the “Christians and demonic possession” question, read the article at http://carm.org/questions/about-demons/can-christians-be-demon-possessed . Or talk to a priest, but whatever you do, don’t take Paramount Pictures’ version of demonic possession to heart.
I’m not that worried though, because audible booing before the movie is over usually indicates that the audience didn’t exactly take the film straight to heart. If there’s any message the average moviegoer could forget, it’s probably the one in this film.
Does anyone know if William Brent Bell has any small children? If he does, that’s where I’m betting the script came from. (“Hey daddy, look what I made?!” “It’s hard to tell because it’s in crayon on construction paper, but that looks like a script!” “Can you make it, like really make it so everybody can see it in a theater?” “Sure, why not? Renegade priests and handheld cameras? This is great, sweetie!”)
Eighty-seven minutes. That’s how long it is, guys. A five-year-old wrote a screenplay that lasted eighty-seven minutes.
The film takes the Blair Witch Project-esque handheld-camera horror documentary to such an astoundingly new low that it took me a minute to realize the main character, Isabella Rossi, portrayed by Fernanda Andrade, is in fact not possessed by some demon specializing in monotone and poor acting, but is actually in control of her voice and interactions with other characters during the first half of the film. I’m still processing that. Was there a twist ending? Were all the characters possessed by some demons of malaise that force their human subject to phone in a part like it’s their job and like they’re getting paid for it? To everyone in this film: I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Spoiler alert: this movie sucks.
Granted, if you watch it expecting a mockumentary of exorcism-themed documentaries, it has some merit. I’m just kidding; this film has literally no redeeming qualities.
There may have been a score. There also may have been credits. I couldn’t tell you about them.
Cardinal/ Catholic Media Liaison: (stunned silence) “That was, um, well, uh, you, see I’m an ordained priest and I can’t really lie to you right now. That was embarrassing. For you. For both of us. I don’t really see much mainstream film, but from what I saw today, I remember why.”
Paramount: (eagerly) “So it’s edgy? Heresy?”
Cardinal: “Let me tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to put up a title card at the very beginning, before anyone sees a second of what you call a film. It should say ‘The Vatican does not endorse this film.’ We can’t have our brand on this.”
There is nothing else to say. I award a rating of “I Wouldn’t Pirate It.”
- The Real Thomas Duke
No comments:
Post a Comment